This Peace Has a Story

I found myself in the shower, water running down my head. The rushing sounds felt like they were clogging my ears. Through what felt like a tunnel, I heard my husband’s voice praying over me. I heard him far off in the distance, asking me to agree with him in prayer but every ounce of my energy had been poured into revealing to him that a voice inside of me, one that did not feel like my own, was tormenting me with the thought of suicide. I raised both hands to my ears; not sure if by covering them I was attempting to silence out the foreign voice or rejecting the idea of standing in agreement with my husband. I stood in the shower, despondent.

That pain and chaos was the catalyst for this particular type of expression from me. This piece had already been started. The squiggly lines already drawn. But what would they be filled with? THAT is the story of this piece. And this piece has a story.

First, we’ll start with the colors. The white represents God and the blue represents me. Those are the most important colors because this piece is a very personal expression to me of how things in my life can cloud or limit by perspective of, and relationship with God. I chose blue for me because I am an air sign and because the sky in many ways, has been a refuge and source of inspiration. I chose white to represent God because of purity, because of wholeness AND holiness. The other colors in this piece are yellowish gold and hues of brown. Those represent earth and fire. They represent choices.

At the bottom of this piece, there is chaos and no space for God/white/peace. Intermingling lines throughout the entirety of it, show the ways life can get confusing when there are so many paths, options and decisions that could shift the trajectory of our journey. As we move closer to the center, we see less chaos but still a very repetitive and pressing issue that is keeping us from fully achieving the peace our hearts and minds long for. The lines are almost like blinds in a window, keeping us from being able to SEE clearly. Stamped throughout these lines in the center are three repeating circles which represent being forced to make a decision, weighing two options on the balance. Finally, at the top, there is peace. Only the blue and white grace the very top of this painting. The intermingling lines are still there because we cannot block, hide, or prevent the chaos that life sometimes brings but we can obtain peace, joy, love, security and so much more when our focus and energy is in the right space. And for me, that space has always been God.

I am grateful to say that as of me writing the description of what this piece means to me, which is November 3rd 2022, the foreign voices in my mind whispering for me to end my life because that would be easier than having to make a choice, are gone. Peace is my birthright and I will never forsake it as it is freely given.

That’s the story behind this peace.

“This Peace Has a Story”

16 x 20 inches

Acrylic paint and ink on stretched canvas.